h1

Subway Dream

August 13, 2006

Something happened on my way home yesterday
you opened up your blue-green mouth and I was
swallowed up by the noisy indignation of the
brutal street; grey taxi-cabs passed me on the
thoroughfare of little angels and I dove into a waterfall
of slowly swirling images of doubt.

When I surfaced for air, all I could see was a sky
light of stars as they fell upwards, moving
to plug the leaks in the firmament that were left
by your big footprints, your high heels punching
patterns of holes in my self-esteem, and when
I turned the corner, I was back in my bedroom alone.

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2 comments

  1. Great passage:

    “you opened up your blue-green mouth and I was
    swallowed up by the noisy indignation of the
    brutal street”

    and

    “your high heels punching
    patterns of holes in my self-esteem”

    Nice rhythm of language here, too.


  2. acute imagery

    I like the sky/light enjambment although the “stars … fell upwards” has become almost a cliche for failing down, maybe you meant ( )tears vice stars



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