h1

Maybe

August 6, 2006

Revision

Maybe it’s the heat
of this sultry summer
wafting in the window
and fighting the slow fan
rippling eddies of cold comfort

Maybe it’s the lightning’s
violent flashing
fireworks on the horizon
which we try to push away
with stoic indifference

Maybe it’s the turgid
way I have these days
of moving with my pre-
arthritic leg, my own
unbending in this humidity

Or maybe it’s just that
we aren’t speaking anymore
so we let the children voice
our frustrations as we
watch each other melt away…

Original
Maybe it’s the heat
of this sultry summer
wafting in the open window
and fighting the slowly spinning fan
for dominion over the empty room

Maybe it’s the lightening
fizzling far away from us
fireworks on the horizon
which we hope by ignoring
will maintain their distance

Maybe it’s the turgid
way I have these days
of moving with my pre-
arthritic leg and my knee
unbending in this humidity

Or maybe it’s just that
we aren’t speaking anymore
we let the children voice
our frustrations as we
patently ignore the melting away…


I should definitely say that this is not based on current experience at all! Rather it is an exploration of some of the ways we experience heat.

Advertisements

5 comments

  1. Thanks so much for your kind words about my sushi poem! I would love for you to add a link to my site. I will do the same for you, however, I am new at this, so I’m still learning the whole html language, etc. Not even sure how to put my blog address (permalink?) on poetry thursday post. thanks again! Jill PS: I love your photo on top of page! And this poem is very nice. I like the language, it has a slow, summer feel to it.


  2. Love the image of the fan fighting the heat!


  3. I like the revision better, you’ve really tightened it up. I especially love that unbending, arthritic leg – says so much more than just the physicality of the speaker.


  4. […] Last, but not least of all in my humble opinion, Daniel Barkowitz sends in a poem called “Maybe”. I’d like to think he’s asking a question. Like maybe we should start up a collective of poets named “Daniel”. Seems to be a good name. Quite apart from that, he writes, […]


  5. It is the last stanza that epitomizes the word “Maybe”. And maybe, with all the bleak realities in this life, it is safer to express them in words of uncertainty so as to mitigate the impact on our own immutable realities.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: