The Wall
September 21, 2005
Text:
Windows’ refractions
parade across the wall . . .
chromosome pairs?
Photo taken 9/21/05 outside of MIT Building 11.
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OK this image/poem is just intriguing.
I don’t know how much input/advice you like on your work so I say this in hopes that I don’t offend, but I think it would be even more effective if you didn’t tell the reader what caused the chromosome pairs. Say something about the “building” rather than explain the shapes – let them leave wondering who/what created these shapes, was it intentional (some sort of social protest against stem cell research or something) or a tribute to some scientific discovery someone at MIT made …
I’m rambling, I just think the picture could be such a mysterious statement for/against/about so many things if left a bit more open to interpretation.
Forgive me if this much commentary is unwelcome!
Absolutely, I LOVE the commentary. Thank you so much for your thoughts and insight.
I was really thinking about trying to comment on this as sort of being a window into the body; maybe a better last line would be “soul’s refraction”.
Hmm… You’ve given me much to ponder!! Thanks for the comment…
Daniel:
very creative — definitely has a MIT flavor. awesome
cheers,
Shane
wow – left and right brained poet you are!
Here’s some graffiti for your wall:
chromosomal runes
dance across a wall that is
finally alive
Hope you don’t mind; I just couldn’t resist playing with this!
I never mind! Always a pleasure! And thanks for riffing on the piece…
Window’s refractions
dance on the wall
like chromosome couples
at a stem cell ball.
Hey Daniel, I couldn’t help myself…I had to make it rhyme! LOL
Great shot and insight.